Peanut butter Chocolate chip Pretzel Brownie

Something dawned on me today....and it was the fact that I am becoming an adult. I realised this when I spent the last of my money for the week on a new blanket for my bed instead of going out and buying drinks. I've been so responsible lately doing things like remembering to eat a balanced diet, getting up early for work, and keeping the house nice and neat.

This always happens in winter. I go through this nesting stage. I get all my paperwork done, organise my life, set goals, and act all mature and grown up........

To counteract all this maturity I've had to do something really super immature. So I made a recipe that is so insanely bad for you. It is the opposite of everything healthy, its full of sugar and chocolate and peanut butter and .....pretzels, and it tastes amazing.

One of my friends found the recipe and asked me to to make it for them, but I didn't love the way it turned out, so I changed it a bit and made it even more indulgent. I totally recommend it. I also recommend that when you make it you get in bed, eat a big slice, drinks some wine, watch something trashy on tv, and be completely irresponsible for at least an hour or so.

Peanut Butter Pretzel Brownies
150g pretzesl
5tbs of melted butter
4 eggs
250g butter
200g chocolate
1 3/4 cups of brown sugar
1 1/4 cups of plain flour
1 tsp of baking powder
1/2 cup of chocolate chip cookies
1 1/2 cups of peanut butter
1/2 cup of icing sugar

If your not too intimidated by all that sugar keep going.

• Cut up the pretzels and mix with the melted butter
• Butter and line a slice tray with baking paper.
• Scatter the pretzels over the bottom of the trayIn a pot melt together the butter and chocolate

• Sift together the flour sugar and baking powder
• Beat together the eggs
• Mix the eggs, and dry ingredients into the butter and chocolate mix. 
• Mix in the chocolate chips
• Pour the brownie mix over the top of the pretzels and smooth out with a spatular.
• Bake in a preheated oven at 160 for 50 minutes

• Melt the peanut butter for 10 to 15 seconds in the microwave until soft
• Mix in the icing sugar

• When the brownie is cooled and cooked spread the peanut butter mix over the top and leave to set. 

Stranger than waitressing....

One of my favourite movies of all time is 'Stranger than Fiction'. Its ridiculous how much of my life I have based upon this movie. Incase you haven't seen it, here's the general gist (or at least the part that I think is the most important.) The main character is this stuffy accountant who spends his whole life counting things. He gets up in the morning counts the minutes he has to get to work, counts his brush strokes when he cleans his teeth, courts the steps it takes him to get to work. He does things exactly the same, every day. He lives alone, hates his job, but continues life like this.......until one day he meets this amazing beautiful woman. She owns a small cafe which she opened after dropping out of laws school. Her whole philosophy in life is to bake cakes to make people happy. Of course they fall in love, she helps him not be so boring, and everything ends well.

The moral of the story is......I fell in love with the idea of this girl when I was 17, and decided thats who I wanted to be. Goodness I even got into law but turned it down in favour of a gap year and then pastry school . I too wanted to bake and make the world a better place with a cookie or a cake. Is this idealistic? Yes! yes it is, because we live in a consumeristic world, and society seems to pay way too little attention to these small beautiful things in life.......I'm getting off topic.
I have always wanted to be this girl. Its silly, I don't care. Today however I felt like the wrong character in that movie. I got up early. Make my breakfast. Left the house in the dark (and rain.) Went to a job (I'm doing work experience as a waitress......I'm pretty mad about this....don't get me started. WORK EXPERIENCE AS A WAITRESS WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE MAKING ME DO THAT......sorry I got started) that I don't enjoy. Stayed in one room for 7 hours folding napkins and polishing forks. Wore an awful uniform. Had people call me 'sweety' in what only could be a demeaning manner (gosh I shaved my head......whats it take to scare people these days??). Ate lunch in a staff room. Watched the clock and left.

By the time I got home I was too tired to bake. I was too tired for anything (5 am starts are mean.) I drank a glass of wine, ate some soup, and watched mindless tv. This is all I had left in me. I was the wrong character all day!!!! No one respected me. No one wanted some of my freshly baked cookies. I was just the cute new girl (as I was reminded about 10 times.)

I wish I wish I wish I came home and defeated all this awfulness by baking cookies, by being some domestic goddess, by having 'spunk' and what not, by being radical, by breaking out of the corporate world, and not just being the sweet little girl they expect me to be..........

But instead I totally came home and cried.

Corporate life is not the life for me. No way, no how, even as a 'corporate waitress' whatever that is. BUT IT WONT BEAT ME! Well actually today, it totally will, I'm too tired to be brave or anything like that.

Tomorrow however I'm totally going to overcome it.......somehow. Even if its just baking some cookies after work, because that will me, and hopefully the rest of the world just that little bit
happier.

Cheer up body breakfast

Lately I've been getting the feeling that my body doesn't like me. The subtle hint was the flue that seemed to last forever, then the food poisoning, and then today when I woke up with every bone in my body aching I got the message. YOUR ANGRY I GET IT.....BUT WHY? I live a pretty healthy lifestyle. I must admit I do like my coffee and wine, and a few treats but apart from that Im pretty good. Im one of the few people I know that runs consistently, eats fruit or vegetables for at least two meals per day, and tries to get a good 8 hours sleep. Recently when I offered to pitching in for some fish and chips with a friend she looked at me surprised and said "what? thats something you do? You eat junk food?"

So get the picture. I'm pretty nice to my little body, but these days its not being so nice to me. I felt like I was the princess and the pea waking up with all my bones in pain today, I felt like me fragile little self was beaten up by the springs in my usually soft bed. Who knows what is going on?

To try and appease my body, and to make up for this freezing winter weather I made some warm porridge for breakfast. It was warm and silky smooth and made me thing that life is pretty good after all. I recommend it.

Cheer up old body breakfast......

• Half a cup of quick oats
• 2tbs of sunflower seeds
• 3tbs of dried cranberries
• 1 tbs of honey
• 1 cup of soy milk.
• pinch of cinnamon

1. Place your oats in a pot with seeds, spices, and berries and a bit of water (about 1/4 cup)
2. Stir on a low heat until dissolved
3. Add half a cup of milk and continue to stir
4. Once this is dissolved as well add the remaining milk and continue the process. 
5. Tip into a bowl and drizzle with honey.
6. Clime back into bed and eat it all 

A spot of bad luck

Lately I feel like I have been a wee bit unlucky, its like I've done something awful karma wise that I'm not aware of and I'm being made to pay my dept. The problem with this is......I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything too offensive. Mainly I've just been baking cakes, and enjoying the last of my holidays.

Let me explain how badly my 'unlucky streak is'. For starters my pastry school is making me do work placement, as a waitress. I have no idea how this is relevant to being a pastry chef, but I have to do 80 hours of unpayed waitressing work, on top of my normal job, for no payment.....a bit rough if you ask me. Today I fell over in the shower, just stepped in and feel into the scalding hot water and burnt my leg (I was just thankful I didn't brake it though.) I have been getting unexpected bills (I HATE my gym.) But the worst one recently was coming down with food poisoning. I was at a friends house warming party and it was getting late enough that I felt that it was probably time I kissed the boy I had been flirting with all night, when I started to have a queazy feeling in my stomach...... I've had food poisoning once before and knew the symptoms.....so I put myself in a cab and went home. I have been so very sick for the last 48 hours, just crumpled up in a ball feeling so very sorry for myself.

I'm planning on sleeping this off until I have to go to school tomorrow, and hope that in between now and then nothing awfully unlucky happens to me.

I hope your day is a bit more lucky than mine

A long day, and a wedding cake

Goodness today was long......the sort of long that makes you want to cry a bit. I turned up to work 3 hours early and ended swapping my shift with one of the girls so that I didn't have to go home, only to turn around and come back again. So I sold cup cakes for hours and hours on end. I arrived home 12 hours after I had woken, showered and run from the house, thinking that I was running late, not 3 hours early. So silly.

I felt like I did nothing productive today, no cooking, no painting, no having dinner with friends.......just a long day, that is all.

Yesterday however I did so many beautiful things. I did some work on a wedding cake and made a beautiful Moroccan lamb soup. Its so delicious with cinnamon, tomato, olives, lentils and slow cooked lamb.......amazingly good. I also went to coffee with a new friend. We started just talking about life and the conversation flowed into one of my favourite topics....the correlation between food and intimacy. We talked about meals with people that have stood out the most in our lives, and my mind wandered back to this dinner I had on a deck under the stars, surrounded by 100 candles and drinking red wine until the wee hours of the morning........such beauty.

Its so lovely to have such fond memories of people I have loved so dearly, but on long days like today, sometimes those memories hurt a wee bit more than I would like to admit. Life is so much more complicated than cooking, and even then at times I struggle to understand so many of the recipes I want to make.

I have however finally mastered the wedding cake that I'm working on.......and although this will not solve any of my romance (or lack or romance) problems at the moment, it really is satisfying to watch something work out so well.


I'm glad today is finally over. I know your not meant to wish away time, but I'm so relieved to be at home, with a warm dinner and a glass of red wine, and a wedding cake in the fridge. For now these things are getting me though long days, and a sad heart. 

Apple Tart Tartin

Step into my office......... actually clime in, because my office is my bed. Today I have decided to do all my writing from bed. Its really the best place to be when Melbourne is starting to get a little bit cold. I feel I get my most productive work done sometimes from bed (this is such a lie, but just go with it.)

There is really a heap of things I should be doing (cleaning my kitchen, practicing macaroon recipes, etc etc) but its just so cozy today. I think I'll stay wrapped up in my old red jumper drinking a soy latte until I really really have to go do things.

Last night I had a few friends over for dinner and cooked up a little feast for them. We had a tart tartin for desert, and I must say.....I'm kind of in love with them. They are so simple to make its crazy. And they look so impressive. Its like the little black dress of deserts, you through it on and look amazing without putting any effort into it.

Dont get me wrong I am all for making pasta from scratch, home made bread, and other such things that take hours to produce, but sometimes it just amazing to be able to put something together in a couple of minutes when you invite friends over last minute.
So if you also want to look super impressive, heres the recipe for you!

Apple Tart Tartin
4 granny smith apples
1/4 cup of water
3/4 cup of sugar
100g butter
2 sheets of puff pastry cut into rounds the size of your frying pan
1 egg
What to do:

1. Peel and cut your apples into quarters
2. Place your sugar and water in a fry pan or skillet that can go in the over. Place it on the stove top and cook the sugar and water on a medium heat until the sugar has dissolved.
3. Turn the heat to high for about 8 minutes or until the mix is a light caramel colour. Do not stir the mix while it is caramelising, or it wont work, so just swirl the pan.
4. Slowly stir in your butter (its best if the butter is cut into little cubes) with the mix on a low heat.
5. Take off the heat and add the apples in a pattern around the edge of the pan and then some in the middle.
6. Place on sheet of pasty onto of the apples, and brush with beaten egg.
7. Place the second sheet of pastry on top and again brush with the beaten eggs.
8. Cut a little criss cross in the pastry
9. Place the whole thing in the oven at 180 and cook for 30 to 40 minutes. You will know when its ready because the pasty will have puffed up nicely and be golden brown.
10. Next is the only tricky part. You need to place a plate over the pastry, and flip the whole pan so that the tart comes out, apple side up. The main thing you don't want to do is burn yourself on the hot caramel mix, apart from that its not to hard. 
11. Then serve it with cream, or ice cream.

Anzac Day

Anzac day makes me sad. I didn't realise this until I was on the bus at 5 in the morning and realised that there were tears in my eyes. I miss my grandpa so much some times. We were close.......but not in a very conventional way. He wasn't really one for big displays of affections, or talking about feelings, but we made it work. When my grandma died I took over her job of making up fresh batches of jellies to go with his ice cream, and I hid hundreds of notes around his house, under his pillows, on his desk, on his computer, in the draws telling him I was thinking of him, and that I loved him, just incase he got too lonely. I still feel sad when I think of him, even though he has been gone for over two years now.

So I went to the dawn service to remember him. It was freezing cold, and pouring with rain as I stood by the war memorial getting wetter and wetter as the rain came down. We could hardly see or hear a thing, but we stood there in the dark as it slowly got lighter and shivered. Afterwards a friend and I went and sat in one of those wonderful little ally way cafes, and ate warm porridge with cinnamon and pears. It warmed and cheered us up.

Winter has really set in now, and I felt it so much today as I was out in the rain. Melbourne can be so harsh in winter, but I do love it so much! I love all the cafes with warm cups of coffee, and having friends over for soup and crusty bread. What I don't love is finding that there are holes in my jeans, just when its starting to get cold. Alas! Sometimes new clothes fall so far down on the priority list. I wonder if all pastry students spend the last of their wages on baking ingredients and cake tins? Or is it just me?

I made my favourite chocolate cake today. It was a practice wedding cake for a catering job I'm doing later in the year. Tomorrow I will ice it and post up pictures and a recipe for you. For now though I'm off to bed.

I hope you had a lovely day of remembering those who were so very brave to us.