I think its so important in life to have a place where you feel you belong. A place that is simply your own. A world that no one can touch. I personally have two of these places. The kitchen and my tiny bedroom. One of my favourite writers once wrote "we live this life simply to go to the table, return to the bedroom and go back to the table." When I first read this, it made perfect sense to me. I think I live life for these two pleasant sanctuaries.
This last week of starting back at work was at times insanely stressful. On my own for three days I managed to run the pastry kitchen of a five star hotel. Its something I have dreamed about for years, and its so amazing to finally be living this life that I have worked so hard to create. I had to call one of my best friends from back home yesterday just to yell down the phone "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it! All those crazy plans we made, all those hours we spent talking about what we would do with our lives, have actually become a reality."
Apart from all the stress of long hours, no breaks, and huge prep listes I actually had a lovely time. The kitchen always feels like a home away from home. It was nice to be able to turn off my phone and just cook for nine hours. I felt like I had escaped the world in my tiny kitchen under the ground where I decorated cakes all day and plated up high tea for guests in the restaurant. Sometimes cooking feels a bit like falling in love. You know how you want it to work out, or how it 'should' look in your head, but it doesn't always go the way you plan. It is beautiful, and scary and intense, but you love every minute of it, even when you dont know why. I remember making my first croissant as vividly as I remember my first kiss. Its a private world that you can dive into and watch as something beautiful appears. It was almost a relief just to push everything to the side this week and say "This here, at work, is my time." There was no drama, no tention, no tears, but just me, a couple of cakes and a spatular. Honestly it was bliss.
Today I am in my second favourite place. My room. I've been a little sick this week so I've locked myself up in this beautiful space to sit in bed, read books and eat pastries. Its so perfectly indulgent, and another place when I can just unwind. I could just loose myself in how lovely it is being here.
I will sometime soon leave my bed, leave the kitchen and return to the 'real world.' I'll see my friends and get on with life. I will get around to posting a recipe on this blog. For now though, I'm so blissfully happy here, and I might just stay for a wee bit longer.