Nearly time to rest

I walked home feeling glum. It is nearly end of the term and two whole weeks of holidays stretch out in front of me. I should be excited. I should be relieved, but all I can muster up is a nagging feeling of panic. What will I do with all this time? So very far from home and no place to be. Here in Melbourne I keep myself busy...very, very busy. Everyday I have some place I must see or a person to catch up with. I don't leave space to be lonely. But holidays with their long, long stretching days so far away from home and without a lover leave me feeling glum.

The notion of this of course is ridiculous, of course. There is so much more to do in this huge city and I have a boot load of amazing girl friends that I hardly get to spend enough time with. In fact I've never had such a large range of people in my life that I connect with on such a soul level. So it's silly really. I'm putting it down to a case of the winter blues.

So I sulked on my way home. I got home feeling adrift with no idea what I felt like doing (what does one do with spare time?) I sat and had a serious inquiry into what I was feeling. "Cherry" I asked, "If there is anything in the world you could realistically do right now, what would it be?" At first I decided to run away to Tasmania for a couple of days (it's very close you know, just one short boat ride away. I have no idea what I would do there. Visions pop into mind of me wandering through wineries and eating cheese, but realistically I'm much too tired to even go to St Kilda (my own little Tasmania.) My next response was "sleep, I want to sleep, and sleep and not wake up." This worried me. "But it's one in the afternoon," I told myself, "you can't possibly want to sleep now. It's day time, for goodness sake!" But the vote was in, and with that I climbed under my blankets and pretended I didn't exist.

A good three hours later I emerged. Still sooky and not at all ready to face anything. "Will you get up now?" I coaxed. But no, there wasn't a chance of this. So I tried a different approach. "If there was anything in the world you would get up for what would it be?" I decided on a hot bath. So I dragged my sorry arse into the bathroom. Once I was up and going and thinking 'bathish' thoughts I decided I could probably even muster up the energy for a run. So I did, and by the time I got back, the world had returned to its place. Once again I was feeling a bit more human. I planned a cake to bake the next day (this, as you will know by now, fixes everything for me.)

I only have three more days of school left before the holidays. I'm feeling quite confident about everything, which is nice. As long as I remember how to de-bone a chicken properly and don't scramble my volute all should be well in the world.

So I've planned to spend my holidays baking (of course), catching up with friends, going for nice long runs, sitting in cafes, doing lots of writing, and a bit of yoga (I have this secret desire to one day be a yoga instructor...but that's way back on the back burner for a while now.)

Ramble, ramble, ramble, that's all I've done in this post today. It has cleared my head. I hope it helps to clear yours. Be blessed and have a beautiful day.