What to do about love and ice-cream making

Today is my first real day off I've had these holidays. Mainly I have been spending my week working, packing and moving houses, but today I had nothing I had to do. I've been so utterly worn out this week its good to have a rest. I feel so tired I find myself starring into my computer screen not knowing why, and avoiding all social events (you mean people want to meet up after 7pm? But what about bed?)

So I treated myself to a 'me' day. I went to the library, the vic markets, explored the city and now I'm out to lunch. I found a nice little cafe in Hardware lane where I could eat a huge place of chilli prawn linguini and have a good think.

Why am I so tired? (apart from moving to a new city, starting pastry school and working on top of that) I keep wondering? The truth is... love is wearing me out. Its exhausting. The constant "yes, no, on and off" of it all has worn me to a small wisp of a girl and I am learning that I am not a strong tower unmoved by storms. I too can get blown over by the wind and crushed by the hail. To some I'm sure this is very obvious, but to me it came as a surprise. Me in my naive youthfulness truly believed that I could date four (yes i said four) boys in the space of one term, end all those short relationships/flings/whatever they where (because I'm really not sure... still), neatly in time for holidays and not feel a thing! Well, I will just take a moment to tell you now... THIS WAS A VERY STUPID THING TO DO!

Your heart (I have learnt over the past 3 months) is like angeles sauce (the bace used to make ice cream).....very fragile. It needs time and warmth. Too much heat however and you will scramble the eggs in it. Not enough heat and it will never cook. I have scrambled the eggs (of my heart) and I'm now left with this yellow, lumpy, useless mess. So now I must start again from scratch, whisking my sugar and eggs, heating the milk, and this time only cooking it over slowly simmering water.

So for the next few days i will rest and cook and write, until I work out what is to be done about all this. I have some lovely fresh ingredients from the markets (this I must admit cheers me a lot.) I'm going to cook a big salmon and potato soup for dinner tonight. If it works I'll post the recipe up for you.

Tomorrow is Saturday (I'm sure your aware of this) so have a lovely weekend... and be gentle with your hearts!