Paris and feminism

Today I've been thinking a lot about the stereotype of thin French women. I once read a poem about how as the French men get older, they get bigger from all the cheese and wine, but the women in contrast shrink, drinking mostly water and smoking cigarettes. The writer put forth the idea that the women were getting smaller simply to make room for the men. They shrunk to accommodate their needs. This poem stayed with me for a long time as I at times have shrunk under the pressure of what I believed it meant to be a woman. This can be seen in the way I never order more food than a man at a restaurant, often letting them make the decisions and talk in a higher voice when I feel unsure or intimidated. "You are just doing a girl thing," someone even accused me at one point on this trip, and the thing that I was in fact doing, was simply asking a practical and logical question. How has society twisted us so much that asking a question is given a negative connotation when it comes from a woman?

I hate that when a woman has needs, she becomes needy, when she is angry she is a bitch, and when she is decisive she is demanding. I hate that we can be made to loose our power for standing up for ourselves. It makes me question, why is society so uncomfortable with women being loud, wanting things, pushing boundaries, growing, and progressing. If everyone is so uncomfortable with the noise of a woman being authentic, maybe they should consider that they are simply insecure of being drowned out? I believe that we as women are more powerful than we let on, or allow ourselves to believe. That we are capable of anything. That we can run kitchens as well as men (if not better at times), read maps, navigate a metro system, live in a country where we don't speak the language alone, get our hearts devastatingly broken by people who don't deserve us, and still dust ourselves off and continue being brave and strong and independent and loud.

This is what Paris taught me today.

Goodnight Paris

So I'm finally in my little apartment in Paris. This was the part of the trip I was really looking forward to. I met some of the loveliest people in the backpackers, but knew at the same time that wasn't really what I came on this trip to do. I didn't travel half way around the world to drink too many cocktails in a dive bar, cram into a room of six people where the bed gives you such a sore hip you have a small limp, or have a romance with an Australian. I came here to spend some time writing, and just be. I wanted to sit in cafes and write for days. I wanted to process the last two years of my life, and how fast they went by. I wanted to look at all the things I achieved and feel proud of that, but also look back at all the things that made me sad, and I didn't have time too feel. I wanted to experience and celebrate all of those emotions, alone, in Paris.

So here I now am, in a beautiful building on the very top floor doing that. I am in a room with a kitchen, bed and shower that is smaller than just my bedroom back home. having a shower is such a weird experience when there is hardly room to move. Its nice to have hot water that lasts for more than a few minutes though. I feel quite at home in this tiny white room, and I feel that I will be happy here.

The area I've moved into is much nicer than I was before and for the first time on my trip here I feel very safe and secure being alone. This afternoon I went on a walk to find some lunch and ended up at a gourmet hotdog shop. The food was so good. I bought what I thought was a lemonade but ended up being lemon flavoured beer. It was weird and delicious.

All the restaurants here close at 3pm and dont reopen until 9pm. The wait between lunch and dinner is epic. Tonight I went for dinner, but my biggest problem here is that there is never enough space in my stomach for all the food I want to eat!

I went to a bar for a night cap after dinner and all the staff were so lovely to me and gave me a free desert. These are the perks of traveling alone.

After a bit of time in the apartment I've started to feel really at home. I think being in this tiny room is the happiest I have felt in Paris. Having some time alone reminds me of what I came here for, and I have been able to relax into the holiday a bit more. I spent a long time writing in cafes and restaurants tonight and did not at any point feel lonely, but just at peace, and sort of connected to the people around me.

Goodnight Paris.

Walking the streets of Paris.

Today I move to my little apartment in the city. Im really looking forward to it. Where I've been staying is just a little bit too far out of the city and I haven't really wanted to venture out at here at night without a friend. the streets are too dark and dirty. This hasn't been much of a problem though because I've been making so many friends. I'm yet to eat a dinner alone in Paris. Last night I met a lovely Australian guy who was traveling alone. We split a bottle of wine and made plans to go to the Louvre together later in the week.

Despite all the friends I've met the majority of my time during the day has been alone. Its interesting getting used to being so very alone. At times I've found it a little confronting but mostly I just shake myself out of any sense of melancholy by remembering that I'm in Paris!

Yesterday I went to the Notre Dame. I'm not sure what I was more impressed with, the beautiful building or the fact that I actually found it by following my map.

One of my main problems in being here has been not being able to eat enough food. One of my good friends always complains about me not getting through my meals at cafes and restaurants, but I have been trying so hard here. I went to lunch yesterday in a lovely little restaurant where I ate beef bourguignon. It was so farm and filling it cheered me up from wandering around in the cold for hours. I left the place full and content and very relaxed after a glass of wine. After that I did some writing in a little cafe. I beautiful french man asked me what I was doing and when I told him I was writing a book he said 'I wish you all the best of luck.' It was very sweet.

The city seems to wake up pretty late here, but I still cant get used to sleeping in. I'm getting in the habit of having a light breakfast of nutella and baguette, and then later eating another breakfast with a short black.

I think a lot of today will just be dedicated to getting to my new apartment and getting
used to the new area.

Im in Paris!

Its really early in the morning in Paris and I cant sleep. My poor room mates must be so sick of me tapping away on my computer as Im sure they are all hung over and worn out. Its been a while since I've posted on this blog, but I think being in Paris and all, its a good time to get writing again. I've had so many adventures here, and its a beautiful busy place. I have to say though, its a lot less French than I expected it to be. I wanted to see more ladies all dressed in black with their tiny dogs, while soft music drifted down the street. The city is actually pretty multicultural, and its often easier to find some good pho over a good french meal.

I arrived in Paris on the Eurostar freezing cold, excited and very lost. A kind lady stopped me on the street and gave me directions to my hostel. The place I am staying is nice, but the area is a little grungy. Nothing is very chic here except a beautiful canal. I was relieved to arrive at my accommodation as it was getting dark and I had a lot of luggage. I was tired from a late dinner in London the night before where a Polish man insisted on taking me out to dinner. We drank some beautiful wine, and ate one of the best meals I've had here so far.

When I walked into my room I was greeted by an Australian guy who was traveling around Europe, and we soon discovered that we grew up in the same area. He offered to go on a walk with me as I didn't know the area, and we explored for about six hours or more walking along the canal, past shops, into bars, eating dinner and talking for hours. This was the start of a beautiful three day romance where we spent every moment together eating pastries and kissing under the Eiffel tower until he took of to a new country. We mades some friends and spent a lot of nights drinking till the early hours of the morning playing card games and laughing.

The day he left I felt a little sad, I got lost a lot and was a little sleep deprived. The city no longer looked romantic, but bleak that day. It was not pleasant. That night I made friends with some more backpackers and had dinner with another Australian guy. We swapped stories and met up with more friends for drinks.

Yesterday was my first real day alone in Paris (although I ended up meeting some people at the bar and having beers with them for an hour or two) and it was the first time I really got to do the city 'my way.' It turns out doing the city my way involves a pretty large hit on the credit card, as I went out shopping and treated myself to a long lunch.

The shops were beautiful, and I found so many things I loved. Even the buildings are ornate. It can be hard to find your way around though as everything sort of looks the same, a sea or beauty and affluence.

Every time I meet someone who asks me about my trip they tell me how brave I am to be traveling alone. At first I thought this was a crazy idea, but slowly I have been understanding the logic. A few times when I got too lost and couldnt speak the language I struggled, and there are moments where I would like to share things with someone, but so far, I am mostly just enjoying the experience.

Today I'm back into the city to explore some more shops and eat pastries. Im really excited just to wear some of my new clothes and practice my broken french.

Staying up super late at night, picking apples and making pies.

This week has been so very full of new projects. One of the most exciting ones is a new blog one of my dearest friends Lillie, and I started together. Its a collaboration of my love of writing and cooking, her love of photography, and our shared love of good wine and exploring new cafes. So far we have been having the best time putting it together and dreaming up all the things we are planning on blogging about (you can find it at goodtimeswithcherryandlillie.wordpress.com) 

Lately I've been spending quite a bit of time pottering about in my little vegie patch. I dream about turning our tiny back yard into a small farm, much to the dismay of one of my housemates. A few weeks ago I voiced the idea of getting a bee hive and unfortunately this was met with very little excitement. I think I am just a little bit homesick for the outdoors, and want to feel a tiny bit more self sufficient. For now I have a few herbs flourishing, salad greens growing, and I have sowed all my seeds for winter. They are poping their heads up through the soil and growing strong. I was so surprise to watch them sprout, which is silly, as thats what they are meant to do. All the same I felt a small thrill to think "I put those seeds in the ground and they are growing!" I have also taken to wearing some wonderful ripped jeans, red gumboots, and checked shirts, in an attempts to look country chic. Realistically I probably just look like a bit of a dag, but Im pretty ok with this. 

 

Apart from my gardening ventures I've also been baking a lot of pies. This was inspired by the song 'Fake Empire' by 'The National.' Its this beautiful song about picking apples and making pies. I listen to it when I first wake up to drag my weary head away from my pillow. This is especially helpful at 3am. It started with a blueberry pie, then I made an apple pie for work, and yesterday the grandest of all pies was made, a whisky and chocolate, caramel meringue pie. It was pretty epic. 

I best be off, as I have a batch of cookies in the oven and a tone of jobs to do. Hope your day is lovely. 

Ladies Who Lunch.

Today was one of those glorious sunny days in Melbourne. Everything was so lovely, except for me. I woke in the worst mood. I tried everything to lift it. I made a pot off coffee, it didn't help. I went for a bike ride, it didn't help. I did some baking, but had no luck. There were jobs to get done, I had catering work to do, and I just didn't care for it. I had organised a little lunch with two off my best friends and by the time they arrived I was relieved to see them holding bottles of wine. "Is it too early to crack open a bottle now" one of the girls asked. I looked at her sternly and said "I fear it may be too late already!" With that we poured ourselves some wine, moved the dining room table outside into the sunshine, and started to work our way through a feast or a lunch and a blueberry pie. My bad mood melted away, and I felt so grateful for such cheering friends. 

As it often does, one bottle turned into two, and before we knew it the day had nearly passed and we were sitting around full and a little tipsy. The perfect way to spend the day really. I love long lunches where you have time to talk for hours and don't have to rush off anywhere. I think being 24 may be the best year I've had yet. There is so much time for doing all the good things in life, and I spend my time at work baking luscious cakes. 

I hope your afternoon was sunshine and wine drenched. 

Byron Times, and Whisky Drinking.

I know I always blog about how much I love winter, but Im pretty stoked that its here and starting to set in. Im starting to think about winter projects and all the great things Im planning on doing. One of my best friends and I are planning a pretty great side project blog........I'll keep you posted on that one as it comes together. 

Last time I wrote I was feeling pretty inspired about doing some cooking and having a crack at my first building project, which is now complete. I built a little crate for the back of my bike to make it easier for carting around wine and cakes. These days I go everywhere on bike, and with the extra storage space it makes life extra easy. 

Last week I took a little trip up to Byron Bay to have a holiday with my sister. We stayed in a little beach like self contained shack. It was beautiful, but the best thing about it was that it was only two minutes walk from a little whisky bar called 'The Road House.' I think its a newish place. During the day they serve breakfast and lunch and at night time they stoke up a big fire, cook beautiful rustic food and sell a huge selection of whiskies. There was also a pretty great (although small) wine list. My sister and I set up there for most of our holiday, drinking and reading books, only venturing out to other places in search of other restaurants and well.....more wine. If you happen to be passing though Byron anytime soon I very much recommend you check it out.   

After a trip away I felt so happy to come back to my little patch of Melbourne. The week ahead is quickly filling up with dinner parties with friends, catering work, and shifts in the kitchen, but today Im spending a little time pottering around my garden, baking a whisky a pear tart from Donna Hay's most recent magazine (Im all about whisky at the moment, and luckily so is Donna Hay.)

Hope your enjoying all the winter weather, and baking some treats at home too!