I had a revelation this week on how much we as humans try to come off as impressive. I don't know about but I am constantly aware of how I come across. At school I am usually the ones other steal homework off. I turn out with my cute notebooks and files of paper all ready and organised. At work I am always early. I try to be sweet and friendly to customers, and give them wonderful service. When out I am the last person to admit if I've had one too manydrinks, and I would never dream of taking my shoes off on the walk home (yuck.... super trashy.) When dating someone my fridge is always filled with food, just incase I need to whip up the perfect breakfast or desert, and I try to give off the vibe of "I'm the sort of girl you want to settle down and marry, not just take home." Nothing should ever look cheap, disorganised, messy or chaotic (unless its in a good way.)
None of this comes easily. I don't wake up everyday with my makeup done and wearing a matching outfit. It is not a coincidence that my undies just happen to matc
h my bra. I don't always feel chipper, even if I pretend to be. We all do this. We all create an elusion of how we want the world to perceive us.
I woke up a couple of weeks ago, and let me tell you, I was not impressed. My house was a mess, yet another boy had tumbled in and then out again of my life, there was no food in the fridge and my washing had not been done for a week. Currently I have no one to impress, so this should be no drama. I'm learning however, the person we want to impress the most is not our friends, or family, but ourselves.
So this is what I decided. I am very tired of being so impressive. I am worn out by trying to come across like everything is neat and tidy, and I am perfect. To prove this to myself, I shaved half my head (only half mind you, I didn't want to do a Brittany and loose all my luscious locks.) I realised that one day (hopefully not too many years away) I will have a career
, I will have a husband, and I will have children, and maybe then it will not be appropriate to shave half my head. Now however no one will care if I look like a "Mega dyke" as one of my friends dubbed me. I'm not even sure if I like it, but you know what? I don't care, because I'm not trying to impress myself, I'm just trying to experience life.
I'm prioritising. Some things are worth making the effort for. Some things are not. Here is my new list of truly impressive things in life:
- In the mornings when I wake up, I now only have to brush half my head of hair.
- My supermarket sells marked down gourmet bread for $3 if you search the back of the shop (honestly what is more impressive than sour cherry and chocolate bread?)
- I have amazing friends and a family who love me dearly.
- I cleaned my whole kitchen, and it looks ace.
- Last year I dated a couple of the best looking people I have ever met, and yes its shallow, but points to me for being a mega babe.
- Some days I take afternoon naps. Its excellent.
- But most importantly. BEING REAL IS IMPRESSIVE. Having the courage to say "today, I feel sad," or "Everything is not always ok," is incredibly impressive.
So I cant promise I'm going to be incredibly impressive from now on in. I will still hold firm to a few of my vain misconceptions that I like to show to the world (such as hosting as cooking home make bread in heels and a black dress when friends come over, and pretending tha
t a cake that took me three hours to make was just 'thrown together.') This is because, its nice to be a little vain at times. Mostly though, I'm hoping to be a little more honest.
I will however continue to make this banana cake, and tell people that it only took me half the time it actually took me to make. So if I can leave you with any lasting advice it would be: Make this cake, it tastes amazing. Be more real, it feels much better. And of course, lie about how long the cake took you to make (we all need a few secrets.............)
Banana Cake with Cream Cheese frosting. (I stoke the recipe from gourmet traveler and changed it a bit, but the picture of the cake comes right out of the magazine.)
You will need:
- 160g soft butter
- 160g brown sugar
- 110g honey
- 4 large bananas, mashed
- 3 eggs
- 1 1/2 tsp each of bicarb soda, and baking powder
- 270g sour cream
- 1 tbsp of milk
- 340g plain flour
- 1 tbs of cinnamon (banana and cinnamon are best friends.)
- 300g soft cream cheese
- 150g sour cream
- 70g honey
- 1tsp vanilla essence
What to do:
- Preheat oven to 170c.
- With an electric beater (or if your lucky enough to have a kitchen aid.....I totally do) beat together the butter, sugar, and honey till light and fluffy.
- Stir in mashed banana and eggs.
- Sift in all the dry ingredients, fold through.
- Whisk together sour cream and milk, fold through.
- Divide evenly between to buttered and lined cake tins and bake until golden and spring back when touched. This should take between 20 to 30 minutes.
- To make the icing simply beat all the ingredients together until smooth.
- Let the cake cool on a wire rack, and when it is no longer warm, slice through the centre so that you have four even layers of cake.
- Spread each layer with frosting, and drizzle with honey. You can also add sliced banana between the layers and extra cinnamon if your in 'that kinda mood.' But honestly just do whatever makes you happy.