Tonight I made pizza for dinner out of everything I could find in the pantry. It was surprisingly amazingly good. For dessert I made sweet pizza's with cherries, chocolate, nuts and ice cream. It was very indulgent...and very yummy. It's nice to know you can still cook a feast out of the scraps around the house.
Apart from all the lovely cooking my day was a bit strange. The 'cute boy from Peru' that I recently met at school turned out to be 'the creepy intense weirdo from Peru.' He merged from one to the other within the space of two short conversations. So it's safe to say I now have a little stalker (okay stalker is too strong a word...more like a little bit obsessive) on my hands. How do I get myself into these situations? I have no idea! It's frustrating and disappointing and annoying all at once. I keep meeting these men that I think just might be lovely...but they turn out to be weird, or bad at communication, or wrecked from a previous relationship, or jerks. WHY IS THIS???? Being single in the city isn't always this wonderful fun adventure. Sometimes it's just plain strange.
I wait quietly for someone to sweep me off my feet but instead I stay firmly planted to the ground. Even on the train today when I ran into a boy I knew who was totally my type (artist, long hair, skinny, unusual, no job prospects) I just couldn't muster up the strength to really care. 'Just another boy' I told myself, 'and he probably has issues with connecting emotionally.' Very pessimistic of me.
I ended up calling my ex-boyfriend and unloading all my woes on him. I told him I was disheartened about men. I told him I was worried about money. I told him I felt a little bit lonely. I told him I was worried about my career. He told me it would all be okay, and explained to me every aspect of how I was feeling and why I was processing things in the way I was processing them. I got sooky and teared up. He told me I'd be okay, stop being silly and worrying and everything would work out. This helped a lot...and I was able to get on with my pizza cooking in peace.
It was not a perfect day. It was not a terrible day. Tomorrow there is another one like this one all over again.