Cauliflower, fennel and almond salad.

Sometimes I make very silly choices in life.......I like to put this down to being wildly romantic, and sometimes not looking at the ramification. I came up with this theory once that there is no right or wrong choices in life.......just choices. This completely frees yourself from self judgment, and you find yourself doing whatever the hell you feel like. Let me just say now, this is an awful theory. Not only did I make awful choices repetitively for a good three months, I also had to live with them. Some where minor and didn't have a huge effect on my life, like skipping school to go to art galleries instead, while others were major, and effected my love life drastically. I continued making these seemingly inconsequential choices, until one night, I tried to profess my deep love for someone, I really wasn't in love with at all (via text) because I had one too many glasses of wine.....and at the time it totally felt right.

The moral of all this is, I'm young, I'm foolish, and sometimes downright stupid.......but this is one smart thing I did this week, and the ramifications are wonderful.

Wondering what it is?

Its this salad

Roast Cauliflower, fennel and almond salad.

What you will need:

• Half a cauliflower
• One bulb of fennel
• One cup of baby spinach leaves
• 1/8 of a cup of sliced almonds
• Half a red onion
• Italian herbs
• Olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• Balsamic vinegar
• 1/8 cut of dill

What to do:

1. Cut your cauliflower into resets, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with italian herbs. Crack a decent amount of pepper and salt over the top and bake at 180 until its crispy on the outside and cooked in the centre.......I'm going to guess about half an hour.
2. Finely (very finely) slice the red onion and fennel bulb.
3. In a frypan on medium heat toast the almonds. Shake the pan from time to time so they don't burn and cook evenly.
4. Wash dill and spinach leaves.
5. Then just toss everything together, drizzle with balsamic and through the nuts on top.
6. Eat it!

Green pea and sweet potato salad

Over the past two weeks the only way to describe my mood would be restless. It is bizarre after going through such a settled stage to find myself so...unsettled. The constant flow of work and school seem irrelevant to my emotions, and as much as I love these things, I am craving something more. But what? I have spent all the year carefully constructing this balanced lifestyle only to feel like deconstructing it. I keep thinking fondly back to times where I was less happy and relationships that didn't satisfy me. Why oh why would I want these things that I know deep down that I don't want?

My head is in constant turmoil, but I have been here before. Things get good...as in really good, and I freak out. Last year when I had finally settled into a nice house in Noosa and started feeling the most content I have ever felt in a relationship, I decided it was time to end it. The simplicity that my life took on scared me a bit so I rearranged everything in my life. Why oh why cant I just settle down like the rest of the world?

What is this constant source of turmoil...? I'm going to name it grief. Something I am still dealing with on this horrible subconscious level. The last time I experienced a great loss I told my partner at the time that we needed to move states. He was so lovely and dedicated that he stood by me as I went about selling all our furniture and making plans. In the end I realised that I didn't want to move, I just didn't want to stay where I was in that moment, with my pain.

So I am restless, I am angry, I am frustrated...but mostly I just feel sad. If I dig around long enough and deep enough I find that my heart is so very sore, and I must just ride this storm out. I rage in my head everyday...but when I get a moment alone, I miss my nanny, and I'm still recovering from a break up.

Nothing can fix these things for now. So while I shove and push at life, I'm trying to at least keep my body healthy. This is what I have been cooking to keep me sane and fed:

Green Pea and Sweet potato salad

You will need:

One cup of frozen green peas

3 cloves of garlic

Half a bunch or coriander

One sweet potato cut into small chunks

Chilli flakes

One tablespoon of basil paste (pesto is fine too)

1/4 cup of goats cheese or feta

Half an avocado

What to do:

Place the cut up sweet potato on a tray. Season, and drizel with olive oil. Bake in the oven at 200 till cooked.........sorry I know that is vague, but you will know!!

Crush garlic and place in fry pan with some olive oil. Add the peas, chilli (however much you like), and basil. Season and stir till peas are warm and garlic is cooked

Dice avocado

Pick coriander off the stem

Mix everything together in a yummy big mess and sprinkle with the cheese.

Beetroot Salad

I'm a wee bit uptight at the moment. The 'to do' list in my head goes on and on for what feels like ten thousand pages. Even when I have nothing pressing to do I can think of at least ten recipes I want to try out, six chapters of text books I want to get read, four major paperwork projects I really need to do, ten people I haven't contacted in way too long and should call, and six cleaning jobs around the house.

I cant sit still, I can't stop, I can't focus on one thing, and have no idea what to do about it. When I'm sitting on the train coming home I sometimes notice that my feet aren't sitting flat on the ground, but curled up, balancing on my pointed toes. I'm just having trouble letting go. Also I'm finding that coffee in not a suitable substitute for sleep. I thought maybe it could be the answer to all my problems.........but instead its leaving me feeling nervous and frazzled (This makes me feel a bit betrayed, because my relationship with coffee has been one of my longest relationships I've ever had. We have been a bit on and off at times. Mainly though, it has been there for me in my darkest times, helping me through fourteen hour shifts in kitchens, and keeping me company in many a cafe.)

I nearly feel asleep ten times in class today, and the lesson from this was.........don't through a dinner party on a monday night. This is unfortunate though, because if anyone loves a dinner party its me. Its something I know I can do well. In life I'm aware of the fact that paper work isn't my thing, neither is chemistry, science, directions, crosswords, maps, or confrontation..........but a dinner party I can do. I feel most in my element when shopping for the perfect ingredients, planning a menu, setting a table, and making sure everyone has a full drink. I love it. However I think in future I will save these things for weekends.

Last night for my little dinner party I made a beetroot salad. Here is the recipe for it.

This is what you will need:

• 4 beetroots
• 1/4 a cup of red wine vinegar
• Small handful of goats cheese
• I bunch of basil
• 2 big handfuls of baby spinach
• Seasoning

What to do:

1. Cut your beetroots into quarters. Place in a pot. Cover with cold water and bring to the boil. Simmer. They may take quite a while to cook depending on how large the beet. You can test them by sticking in a fork. They will be cooked when it slides in easily.
2. Run beetroots under cold water and rub of the skin.
3. Cut into small pieces.
4. Roughly chop basil.
5. Mix everything together and sprinkle with the cheese
6. And eat!

Chickpea and Roast Vegetable Salad

Tomorrow I have my big assessment day at pastry school for this term. I'm actually a little bit nervous. My cooking partner and I have a few hours to make three types of pastries, one cake, one custard, one soup, two meat dishes, a chutney, a loaf of bread, plate it all up into a five course meal and serve it to the guests. Its so so very much to do. I'm just crossing my fingers that all my doughs rise and bake perfectly.

Its been a pretty hectic day getting ready for all this. My uniform is all neatly pressed so I can get up before six, start school at half past sever, work on my assessment till three thirty and start work at four. After all this (around about seven at night) I'll meet up with my parents for dinner, as they just flew down today for a visit. I'm a little bit overwhelmed to say the least. Throughout the day I called my best friend three times. The first time moody, the second time crying and the third time yelling (not at him, just about life.) I'll be so glad when tomorrow is over and I can have two weeks holidays.

I finished up the last of my homework tonight in typical Cherry style, sitting of the floor drinking a glass of red wine and waiting for my dinner to finnish baking. I made a lovely roast vegetable and chickpea salad out of whatever I could find in my pantry. It turned out really well so I'll write it up for you. Wish me luck for tomorrow and pray I get through the day without any drama's.

'Throw-together' Chickpea and Roast Vegetable Salad

You will need:

• Whatever roasting vegetables you can find in your fridge and pantry (I used potatoes, baby carrots, eggplant, and sweet potato.)
• 10 cloves of garlic
• A splash of olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• One teaspoon chilli flakes
• One teaspoon of whatever other dried herbs you like
• Quarter of a cup of red wine
• 1 can of yummy chickpeas ( I love them)
• A couple of handfuls of baby spinach
• Splash of soy source
• 2 table spoons of sesame oil

What to do:

1. Roughly cube all your vegetables and put on a baking tray. Drizzle with olive oil and put your hers and garlic (don't peel it) on top.
2. Bake at 200 until cooked (just keep an eye on them.... maybe around half an hour to 45 minutes)
3. Half way through baking splash the red wine over them.
4. Drain and wash chickpeas
5. And then pretty much mix everything together
6. Its super simple and yummy.

Well guys I'm wrecked (something to do with cleaning the house, going to school, doing all my homework, cooking dinner and drinking WAY too many coffees today) so I'm off to bed. have a good night.